Life Round Here – by Belinda Huso

The winter is almost over, spring is just around the corner.
The heaviness of this winter has been unbearable. The pandemic of course had a big role in all that
heavy energy that was spread all around our lives. I prefer not to say negatively because even that
wasn’t clear.
Meeting people around, talking with friends, and always the same theme, nothing it’s in the right place
or better nothing feels like it’s in the right place. Has our life become part time? “Part time love is the
life round here”. This song of James Blake was stuck in my mind. Are we leaving everything unfinished?
Seems like everything is left on pending. For me personally this pandemic has been a blessing in
disguise. It’s been almost a year and everything has changed, but nothing till the end. We have put our
life on hold, our feelings on hold, and I guess it’s not only about the fact that we are not totally free to
move around like we used to. The pressure in the air has been a huge bargain to carry. I love how James
Blake puts it in his song, even though he probably is talking about a complicated relationship situation, I
like to see it in a bigger spectrum. “Everything feels like touchdown on a rainy day” the fear of the pilot
to land the plane when the ground is soaked in water. This is how the life round here has become. The
constant insecurity that we carry around, not being able to freely express how we actually feel, what we
actually think. We choose to experience situations part time. As long as something we taking, a small
feeling, a moment of cheerfulness that comes our way. We grab it, hold it tight and then walk away
being scared that actually if we turn the half thing and speak to it for a full time it will be scared and run
away from us. We start “the game” defeated we never try for more , never ask for more. Furthermore,
we might be thankful for the little that we receive.
The end of an era, probably that’s what we are going through. The political system is failing, our social
structures are all changing , everyday something new comes to surface. Probably it’s hard to adapt, all
the changes that we face everyday. The old generation had different values ideas and opportunities. We
the millennials stuck in the middle. As I see it the ones that are more uncomfortable to change, even
though we grew up exactly in the period that things become more advance. Basically we are stuck in the
middle, having the opportunities for brand new experiences and at the same time having pressure from
the generation of our parents to follow more traditional paths. And what we choose to do? And yet
what we decide to do , yes of course to stay in the middle. And we come back to idea of the part time
life. The fear that we have grew up is following us and haunting us. We all act extra chill and that we
don’t mind but inside we are scared. Scared of the unspoken words, the things that we want and we
never are brave enough to ask, and we settle with half , with part time love.
To conclude, the winter is almost over, let’s drink to that. Let’s appreciate what we have and let’s be
more brave to ask for what we want. At the end of the day, what’s the worst that the happen?
Rejection? Someone saying no? But big fucking deal, life is for the living and not for part time shit that
leave our hearts on hold!